Long Island Iced Tea (But Books)
A duke, a man in a mask, and more!
Hi Folks,
Happy Friday Saturday Sunday (whoops)! It’s been a weird week for me reading-wise. I read a bunch of totally unrelated stuff. So we’re calling this a long island iced tea — it’s a mix of books that definitely shouldn’t go together and some of them will f*ck you up. I don’t have much else to say, so let’s just get into it.
What I’m Reading
More gay hockey (see also this post). The Last Guy on Earth by Sarina Bowen (2.5🍸; 😏) is not one of my favorites. Two men who had an affair when they played for the same minor-league hockey team are pushed back together 15 years later when one is traded to the team the other now coaches. The premise sounded sexy, but it was a lot of the one guy taking care of his incarcerated sister’s kid and the other guy (weirdly) cooking. There are too many excellent gay hockey novels out there to waste time on this. Sorry Sarina — still love you, girl.
If you want to get weird (you probably shouldn’t). Lights Out by Navessa Allen (2.5🍸; 🥵)— I hope to god that’s a pen name based on what goes on in her mind — is about an ER nurse who obsessively follows a man on Instagram who poses with a mask on (????) and knives (???????) and who eventually goes to her apartment without her knowledge and films himself there (????????????????????????) and then they fall in love AND THEN something spicy happens with the hilt of a knife that I can’t ever repeat out loud or in writing (?????????????????????????????????????????). And there’s more than one murder. Look, we both have questions about this premise. And believe it or not it gets even weirder than I’m letting on. I read this book purely because it went viral on tik tok and I had to know. That said, it wasn’t the worst book I’ve read and I did finish it. And I kept imaging the main guy in an LED mask (like the photo above!!) and that had me giggling. I dare say it’s not a total waste of time. But proceed with caution.
Never met a duke I didn’t like. False God by C.W. Farnsworth (3🍸; 😏) is your classic rich girl meets young, hot, unable to commit duke and he (gasp!!) finally is able to commit….to her. It’s Saint Tropez, it’s polo, it’s fancy cars, it’s people with incredibly posh sounding names. It’s good fun. If you just read Lights Out and you need to detox your brain from the trauma like I did, this is a great option. Or if you’re just on a beach. Or something.
Type-A biomedical engineering major explores polyamory. The Charlie Method by Elle Kennedy (2.5🍸; 🥵) is the most low stakes book about a girl getting into a relationship built on having threesomes that I’ve ever read. I’m not sure how Elle Kennedy made this feel not spicy at all, but she managed to do it so well I wondered if that was the whole point. Threesomes: So normal they’re a drag to read about! Her two ~lovers~ are also hockey players in this book which I normally would love but seemed to be totally irrelevant to the plot to the point where she could have just left it out. FWIW her other hockey novels are delicious (The Deal and The Score, in particular are old favorites from my college/law schools days).
Hear Me Out (HMO) of the Week
A Quiver Full of Arrows by Jeffrey Archer (4🍸; 😇) is an HMO because it’s a book of non-sexy short stories written by a former British member of parliament published 20 years ago and those things together mean it doesn’t really fit with this newsletter. But these are really beautiful stories and one in particular, called Old Love, I can’t stop thinking about. If you want to read something more “intellectual” that you can purchase in paperback and not hide on your kindle because of the half-naked man’s (or men’s) torso on the cover, this is it. Plus, it’s not trendy/hip at all, so you can give people the impression that you’re literary and in the know and that you don’t get most of your reading suggestions from Tik Tok (and now this newsletter!!!!).
Looking Forward To
February is the dead of publishing winter. So almost nothing happened this month in terms of new books. But don’t fret - starting in March the new releases (and maybe the men in said books!!!!! 😉) will be coming hard and fast. If you want to read along with me, here are a few I’ve pre-ordered and will be reading immediately.
March 4 (AKA this Tuesday!!!). Our Infinite Fates by Laura Steven is the only standalone on this list and is allegedly about two people who have been destined to meet in every timeline, and end up killing each other in every single one. Except for the one where they fall in love!!! This is highly anticipated and I enjoy anything involving time travel/multiple time lines/the fine line between love and murder. If you do too, this could be for you! I’ll keep you updated.
March 18. The Rivaled Crown by Holly Renee is the third book in her Veiled Kingdom series. The gist of the series so far is this: daughter of a wicked king escapes from his tyranny and ends up in the hands of the rebels, and the rebel leader’s handsome son, who suspects she’s not all that she seems. Do you see where this is going??? If you’re looking for something to fill your time in a post-Onyx Storm world, this is a good option.
March 31. The Night Prince by Lauren Palphreyman is the follow-up to last year’s The Wolf King, which was one of my favorite books of 2024. If you like Outlander, werewolves and brooding alphas named Blake who might love you but also might be trying to kill you and you can’t tell which, you’ll love this. Obviously, the new book hasn’t been released yet, so I can’t tell you it will be good, but I have faith and you should too.
A Plea Deal
Lastly, we’ve been getting new subscribers every week (thank you!!), but if you tell a friend to subscribe this week or forward this to someone you’ll earn my eternal gratitude. This is a good deal - you tell one person about The Book Cocktail, you get my (highly valuable) eternal gratitude. I’d take that offer!!! Please note that eternal gratitude is nonrefundable and nontransferable.
Anyway, if you read Lights Out let me know what you thought was the weirdest part. And if you know what book club this Lights Out reviewer is in, how can I join because the books they choose must be WILD.
Ta ta for now,
Frances
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Plot
1🍸- I probably didn’t finish it and if I did, it was under duress and you should check to see if I’m OK.
2🍸 - I finished it. I didn’t hate it. I definitely didn’t like it.
3🍸 - I enjoyed it and it was entertaining, but if you ask me in a week what it was about I might not be able to tell you.
4🍸 - Highly HIGHLY recommend. I will probably re-read this book at some point.
5🍸 - You absolutely must read this or you are dead to me.
Spice
🥶 means ice cold. They barely touch and it’s practically a hallmark movie. Or potentially, this just ins’t a romance novel (I do read those occasionally).
😇 means PG. Closed door romance. You could listen to this as an audiobook with a child around (maybe? I don’t have kids). The good stuff is left to your imagination.
😏 means pretty sexy. It’s open door, so you get the inside track, but it’s vanilla. You get what I mean.
🥵 means I feel a bit sweaty. Open door, open…other things. It’s definitely not vanilla, and potentially there’s stuff going on that’s not even chocolate. Probably a flavor with lots of nuts. Again, you get what I mean.
🤯 means this was too much even for my jaded eyes. Some things just shouldn’t written about in fiction (and CERTAINLY shouldn’t be done in real life). If you don’t know, you shouldn’t ask me for examples. I want you to keep reading and also to sleep at night.