Let’s Talk about Mariana Zapata
Deep dive into the catalogue of the slow burn romance queen.
Hi Folks,
Happy Friday. Hope you’re headed somewhere nice for the holiday weekend and if not, I hope you’re going to read about somewhere nice. Big news in my world this week — Mariana Zapata hinted at her new book release. This is huge as her last book came out in 2022, which based on her usual output, was a very long time ago. It looks like it’ll be a few months before that new book is out, so in the meantime, why not deep dive into all her other books? If you read slow enough, you’ll never get through them all!! That’s how many there are!!
What I’m Reading:
One thing you must know right off the bat about Mariana Zapata is that she is the queen of slow burn romance. And when I say slow burn, I mean it. These books are spicy, but sometimes the spice comes at the verrryyyy end. Like when you eat 12 shishito peppers and they’re all not spicy and then the 13th burns your face off. Like when you stare at a pot of cold water from the second you put it on the stove until it boils and it feels like it never will and then all at once it does. Like if you waited for the Colorado river to carve the Grand Canyon and then there was a spicy scene. Kind of like that? But extremely satisfying. I swear!! What is it they told us in church? True love waits [‘til the end of the book] (or something? my church didn’t preach abstinence thank GOD).
We’ve already talked about Rhythm, Chord and Malykhin so I won’t repeat myself, but please read that if you haven’t already as it’s one of my top three. And as far as her other books, may I recommend (in no particular order and as always, ratings guide is at the end of this letter):
Famous soccer star/coach/age-gap/enough said. Kulti (5🍸; 😏) is an absolute masterpiece of a book that almost convinced me to like soccer (almost). This is the story of a U.S. pro soccer player whose team gets a new coach — a retired world famous soccer star and her childhood crush. You know where that’s going!! Another one of my top three. Must read.
If you don’t love marvel but you do like superheroes. When Gracie Met the Grump (5🍸; 😏) is Zapata’s most recent book, which follows a woman who has been hiding from the cartel her whole life and the superhero that crashes, injured, into her yard. Chaos (and love) ensue. Highly recommend. This is mostly a love story with a small side of superhero, so even if superhero stuff isn’t your thing, you’ll like this. I guarantee it or your money back (just kidding, amazon will keep it forever).
Mandatory reading for the winter Olympics. From Lukov with Love (5🍸; 😏) might be my favorite if it wasn’t impossible to choose a favorite. This is an enemies-to-lovers about two figure skaters who team up to skate pairs together. And he is her best friend’s brother. Honestly enough said. Mandatory read.
Football season may be over, but hot football players are year-round. The Wall of Winnipeg and Me (3.5🍸; 😏) was the first Mariana Zapata book I read and though it’s not in my personal top favorites list of her books, it holds a place in my heart because of that. A pro football player’s assistant finally gets up the courage to quit because she hates working for him (and he is a horrible boss), but he convinces her to stay on for a few more months (because he loves her secretly — she just doesn’t know it yet!!). While he is a football player in the book, there’s almost no football involved, so don’t let that scare you away. It exists mainly for hotness purposes — pro athlete = hotter than randomly tall guy who is not a pro athlete (usually).
Support our troops. Dear Aaron (3.5🍸; 😏) is a pen-pal romance about the sister of the ice skater above who joins one of those be a pen-pal to a soldier programs. And then they fall in love (and yes, they do eventually meet in person). The main character of this is actually the sister of the main character in From Lukov with Love, so that’s a fun tidbit. The best way to describe this story is heartwarming — I do really like this book, but don’t reach for this first.
Looking for a tattoo artist from the wrong side of the tracks? Under Locke (4🍸; 😏) is the book for you if you secretly wish you could date a tattoo artist who’s not “all” good. Also he is part of a motorcycle club, which honestly I could take or leave, but if you focus on the fact that she works at the tattoo parlor and he is the shop owner, you can tune the motorcycle club part out (mostly). These characters also make a small cameo in Kulti (fun!!!!). Most people consider this one of Zapata’s best books, and I agree, it’s just not my favorite of them all (see above).
Love thy neighbor. Wait For It (3.5🍸; 😏) is the most “boring” of the books on this list in that it doesn’t involve a tattoo artist or an athlete or a person with magic/superhero. At its core, this is a book where two neighbors fall in love. One of them is a woman who has to take in her younger brothers after their parents die. And I know I say later in this newsletter that I hate when characters have kids, but this book is an exception (maybe because she’s not their mom? just their sister?), and if you know me you know that me saying that means it must be a really good book.
HOWEVER, not all her books are winners in my…book (heh). This isn’t to say you won’t like them, but just proceed with caution if your tastes run similar to mine. Nobody is perfect, not even Mariana Zapata.
So, unfortunately, may I not recommend:
Luna and the Lie (1.5🍸; 😏) I think the below review says it all. And can confirm, Luna does not get therapy in the last 7%. My advice: instead of DNFing you should just DNS (do not start — I’m going to make this acronym happen!!)
Hands Down (2🍸; 😏) follows the teammate/friend from The Wall of Winnipeg and Me as he tries to recover from an injury and reconnects with a childhood love. This is going to sound strange but books about football players from Texas (but, how many can there be Frances?? A lot) are just a sub-category of football romance novel I dislike. Can’t explain it. As you saw above, I am fine with both soccer/European football players and ice skaters from Texas, so who knows. Someone psychoanalyze this for me.
All Rhodes Lead Here (2.5🍸; 😏) is actually not bad. It’s just not as good as the books above. The love interest in this book is a older guy with a teenage son and said son rents their garage apartment out to the main woman without his dad’s knowledge. And then she and the dad fall in love. Duh. I find that plots where one person has children can ruin the romance novel experience for me (pregnant characters too, sorry!!!). And honestly, the teenage son in this is annoying and I just really couldn’t move past that. Unfortunately he is an integral part of the book, so you can’t just ignore it (there are definitely books where you can ignore the kids entirely — love those).
The Best Thing (1.5🍸; 😏) I hardly remember what this was about. It’s a second chance romance and it involves boxing and a boxing gym and that doesn’t do it for me. BUT, if you like any of those things, you may like this.
Other Bits and Bobs:
Only two other books to report on this week as I was busy with my full-time job and I kept falling asleep at 9:15 like a total loser.
Metal Slinger (3.5🍸; 😏) by Rachel Schneider is one book where I was actually surprised by the surprise twist at the end. And considering how many books I read, that’s really saying something. This is a pretty typical romantasy plotline of enemies to lovers and their two worlds are in a fight and also they have magic. But the cliffhanger/twist makes it worth it. Trust. I’m looking forward to book two.
A Promise of Lies (3.5🍸; 😏) by Clare Sager, is the third and last book in the Shadows of Tenebris trilogy. This is basically a mix between a book about fae, a spy book and Bridgerton. I confess I had forgotten what generally happened in the first two books until about 150 pages into book three, but I still enjoyed it and I bet you will too. Since all the books are out now you can just read them all at once and not have the problem I did.
Hear me out (HMO) of the week:
So this is still a Marian Zapata book, but it’s an HMO because Lingus (4🍸; 😏) is a friends-to-lovers story about a male porn star and a woman he meets at a porn convention. So this book is basically about porn. And I think that doesn’t sit great with some people? But this is a really good book actually. And the porn part is definitely in there (heh— in there — I crack myself up), but it’s not gratuitous. Dare I say it’s tasteful? Or as close to tasteful as porn can be. And he’s also a lawyer!! Get you a man that can do both, but then will give up the porn for you. He is that man!!
Ok, I’m in the Bahamas in a giant hat and long sleeves, slathering on sunscreen every hour with one hand and holding a piña colada in the other, which is to say I’m very busy. So I have to go. I’m not sure what we’ll be discussing next week — but stay tuned anyway!
I’ll leave you with this incredibly poignant review of Kulti:
Ta ta for now,
Frances
Plot
1🍸- I probably didn’t finish it and if I did, it was under duress and you should check to see if I’m OK.
2🍸 - I finished it. I didn’t hate it. I definitely didn’t like it.
3🍸 - I enjoyed it and it was entertaining, but if you ask me in a week what it was about I might not be able to tell you.
4🍸 - Highly HIGHLY recommend. I will probably re-read this book at some point.
5🍸 - You absolutely must read this or you are dead to me.
Spice
🥶 means ice cold. They barely touch and it’s practically a hallmark movie. Or potentially, this just ins’t a romance novel (I do read those occasionally).
😇 means PG. Closed door romance. You could listen to this as an audiobook with a child around (maybe? I don’t have kids). The good stuff is left to your imagination.
😏 means pretty sexy. It’s open door, so you get the inside track, but it’s vanilla. You get what I mean.
🥵 means I feel a bit sweaty. Open door, open…other things. It’s definitely not vanilla, and potentially there’s stuff going on that’s not even chocolate. Probably a flavor with lots of nuts. Again, you get what I mean.
🤯 means this was too much even for my jaded eyes. Some things just shouldn’t written about in fiction (and CERTAINLY shouldn’t be done in real life). If you don’t know, you shouldn’t ask me for examples. I want you to keep reading and also to sleep at night.